October 2, 2008  Message from the Family

Dear Friends,

We wish to thank the many, many people who have reached out to help us since August 4th.  We already knew that it takes a community to raise children--but we have learned that it also takes a true and loving community to carry a family through tremendous, unimaginable tragedy.  We have experienced this community and are deeply grateful to belong to it.  Each hour of every day is a struggle.  We live with boundless sorrow but your kindness and continued presence gives us some measure of hope.  It helps us get up each morning to try to build a new life without Sam and Grace.

Very slowly, we are resuming some of our daily routines.  Returning to the life we knew is impossible--so we use our imagination and try to see a way forward.  We spend much time quietly at home together and with our extended family.  We appreciate your concern for our family in Oregon.  The Reimanns who were hospitalized are home now.  Marie's sister Ruth and our niece Sarah (12) sustained the worst burns and were hospitalized until very recently. They continue to receive care at home for their wounds and need prolonged physical therapy to regain their function and strength.  Christopher (13) had relatively minor burns.  He has started 8th grade and rejoined his soccer team. As the Reimanns try to recover from these injuries, their sorrow over Julia's death overwhelms their physical injuries by orders of magnitude. We, too, mourn for Julia.  Her burial and memorial service will be held in Portland on October 10th, so we travel there next week to be with Julia and her family in that journey.

Again, we thank everyone for the countless and generous ways you have held us up these past weeks. So many have sent cards, called, emailed, contributed to the children's memorial fund at St. Anne's, and donated time, food, and resources to help us. We appreciate each and every effort that has been made on our behalf and to remember Sam and Grace.

Many people have asked how they can help us now.  We have realized that there is very little that can be done to ease grief.  The three of us wish to ease each other's grief and have struggled to accept that we cannot.  We all have a desire to make this better, to give comfort--but perhaps it helps to think of the Latin roots of of the word comfort: com--with, and fortis--strength.  With strength.  This is quite different than our modern view of comforting someone as easing pain.  It is impossible to ease our pain, and in fact it may also be uncomfortable to be around us. We often cry, are typically distracted, and occasionally irritable. However, your continued presence in our lives gives us strength to get up and face another day without Sam and Grace.  We experience your presence in myriad ways--text messages, calls, comments on the blog, visits, hand written notes, and invitations.  While we may not be able to respond promptly, you should know that we are deeply grateful for all of it.  This is the how the three of us comfort each other. We just continue to be present for each other.  We just keep saying to each other "I am here with you."

With much affection and gratitude,

 

Marie, Fred, and Liz

Forever with Sam and Grace